Hello guys !
As a big-mouthed, outspoken girl, this subject has always been on the back of my mind but luckily, my mama raised me right and I know when to shut it. I know that my opinion cannot be universal and I also know that I won’t agree with everything that people out there say. So, I’ve been thinking, when do I voice my opinion and most importantly, how do I do so?
Today’s post was going to be a whole other topic, but as I was coming back home, it hit me, why not talk about Criticism because as I see things, there’s a fine line between criticizing and bullying, and I swear to God some people don’t know how to walk it or don’t want to learn how to, so I thought why not share my little insight on the subject?
Dear citizens of the world, please know the difference between constructive criticism and being straight up mean to people. Since I’ve become a blogger, I’ve seen only the good side of this community, because it IS mostly good, I’ve never cam across insulting comments or anything of that kind but I’m not naive, I KNOW that it exists and I know that some fellow bloggers have experienced the stupidity of some people. So, as the nice person that I am -or nah haha- I’ve come to help the confused folks. Here’s how it goes:
Is your comment 100% necessary ?
And by comment, I don’t mean just the virtual kind, I’m talking about life in general. If you are opening your mouth to criticize someone’s appearance, beliefs, likes or dislikes, just do us all a favor and shut your fucking trap. Does said person’s life have any kind of influence on yours? No? I thought so! So why in heaven’s name do you overstep and interfere?
On the other hand, if it is some destructive behavior or a subject up for discussion, potentially opening up a civilized debate that’s when I say, why the heck not voice your opinion? Just …
Know the right way to do it.
Don’t be rude, please. I’ll even come to your rescue and show you some of the sentences that you shouldn’t use, like EVER :
“What the hell? I can’t believe you love that -Insert book, artist, song, whatever. You’re just stupid!”
“Why are you wearing THAT?”
Or the classic: “You’re ugly! ” WHY OH WHY? I’ll kick your butt, mean person.
“You shouldn’t even exist if you think this or that.”
THAT’S FREAKING BULLIYING. Again, KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. Instead, you can say:
“I respect your beliefs but can you elaborate on this?”
“I’d like to understand why you think what you think, I’m really curious to know more.”
“I can see what you love that, but it just doesn’t do it for me”
And avoid talking about appearance, that’s just shallow, okay? It says more about the person you are that about the person you’re criticizing.
Here’s a little anecdote: Last summer, I had one of the best conversations of my life with two girls who didn’t share my culture nor my beliefs. They were vacationing in Morocco and had come from the US. I just randomly met them in the streets. They just came up to me and asked: “You dress really cool, you have kind of an American vibe to your style, do you speak English?” when I said yes, they started asking about places to visit and one thing led to the other, they started asking questions about my culture, my religion and I did the same with them, I learned SO MUCH from that. Imagine if they were rude, or if I were. It wouldn’t have been pleasant for neither of us.
Instead, focus on the positive.
I swear, it won’t cost you a cent to be nice to people, neither will it pull some muscle in your body and it can basically make that person’s day.
You don’t know what battles they’re fighting, what demons they’re facing, what nightmares keep them up at night. Some people have it harder than others and don’t even show it. By being mean, you’re just making it harder on them, adding unnecessary weights. If you have nothing nice to say or don’t know how to formulate your sentences to sound decent just shut up, it’ll do you wonders. Also, some people can just brush it off and others can’ get past that one upsetting comment. So, I’m begging you, there’s always something good in everyone, talk about that, okay ? You can always say:
“I like that outfit you’re wearing today”
“You have a great smile”
“I like talking and discussing ideas with you”
And if you can’t find anything, just smile.
Okay, I’ll stop here because I’m rambling and I don’t even know if I got anyone to understand this bunch of non-sense haha. But if it helps anyone, just one person, I’m glad I could be of use.
That’s it until next time
What are your thoughts on Criticism ?
Hope you enjoyed, write to you soon.
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